There is a saying that my grandmother kept in the kitchen and it became an important mantra for me and has always been the AA mantra too.
The serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Change the things you can and accept the things you can’t and working out which is which. Sounds easy enough but is it.
Now being brave is difficult. The ultimate thing I believe here, is if you’re like me, you don’t like change. Some thrive on it, me not so mcuh. But I can find grit determination when I have to and can follow through on what I decide, mostly. There is a downside to changing things you can, for it may be something you don’t want to let go of but for your own peace of mind, you probably should. So the courage to change things I can usually is an easier option for me.
If you have serenity to believe in yourself and push forward when you can’t change something you don’t like, then I admire you. Acceptance of a situation you have no control over is a major hurdle. For me it involves not getting what I want and this is something I’m not terribly good at. I could blame being an only child but that is unfair, so it is perhaps just me. If you can find peace when you can’t push for what you want, then I tip my hat. Acceptance is the key point here. Can you accept that you cannot change something you want to and have serenity with this acceptance? I’m not sure I can or do but as we all have to do it at some point. Acceptance will always be part of our lives whether we like it or not. This I find harder than changing my thought pattern.
Wisdom, well I have it in some ways. I’m probably still young enough to do dumb things and make idiotic choices. Do I have enough wisdom to know which choice is mine or someone else’s? This is where it gets tricky.
So if you have a situation in your life that isn’t working for you, then you need to either accept you cannot change it or change what you can... the hard part is working out which one is which.
Basically the point of my long winded version is that I look to this when the need for direction and focus is required. It works. It makes you reach down into your guts and take control of what you can. Courage. Find calming yet determined thoughts. Serenity. Then listen to the wisdom.